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Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.