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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?