Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
You can turn anything into a compliment if you`re delusional enough.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
My neighbors don`t appreciate it when I skip along the property line, singing "This Land is My Land."
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
My best stories always end with the words ... "and then I got the hell out of there."
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!