Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is harder for the beautiful people. I’m sorry you’ll never know.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
My friend told me he wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don`t think he`d be a good secret agent.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.