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Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I`ve ever made.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
Be the best you can be, while being the worst that you`re able to get away with.
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
You had me at 0 mutual friends