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I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
I was on way home this morning when I seen an AA van pulled in and the driver was crying his eyes out. I thought to myself that guy is heading for a breakdown.
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?