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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
Give a kid a Pop Tart and they eat for a day. Teach a kid how to make a Pop Tart and you sleep in all summer
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Tried to make a stew and accidentally summoned a demon again.
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!