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My neighbors complained about all the loud sex they are hearing from my house. So now I have to buy some headphones for my computer.
When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
Is Nudeism a religion?
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, “neighborhood watch” isn’t what I thought it was.
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....