Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This bartender doesn`t know it yet, but she is probably going to make me 36 hours late for work tomorrow.
I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
My friends were alway so nice. They were like "of course you`re not fat! Come on, grab two chairs and sit with us" :)
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I`m a pretty princess".
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?