Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
I flunked anger management class.
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny, AND thin ... It`s a public service really.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
Never buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He`s obviously an undercover cop.