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Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.