Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Where do homeless people find all these sharpies?
I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy".
Love is grand. Divorce is 100 grand.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
Donβt break anyoneβs heart; they only have one. Break theyβre bones. They have over 200 of them.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
I`ve been around the block a few times.....but only because I was too drunk to find my house.