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Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
It`s all fun and games until the cops show up.
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.