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"You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry" - me practicing for a successful relationship.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.