Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
Save your little napkin, bartender. I don’t plan on having this drink long enough to set it down.
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
Does it count as saving someone`s life if you just refrain from killing them?
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.