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Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
Attention fuels immaturity
Home is where the pants aren`t.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
When people tell me knock knock jokes, I pretend I`m not home.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
Does this floor Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?