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Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
And then her mood ring just...exploded
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
What number SPF blocks people?
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
There is 1 mosquito in my apartment. I have 50 bullets. Let`s dance.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps