Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend said we can`t hang out this weekend because she doesn`t really exist.
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Why can’t the shower just naturally keep itself clean?
I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
Better late than pregnant.