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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it`s like...I don`t care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.