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All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
The only time I want to hear about your baby is when you tell me it ain`t mine.
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
When my friends ask me to babysit, I ask if the kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.