Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...