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Pornography only gets called by its full name when it`s in trouble too.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
SOCIAL WORKER: cop without a gun, judge without a gavel.
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch