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Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
The push-up bra: the strangely acceptable female equivalent of a rolled up sock stuffed in men`s underwear.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.