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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes.
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
If at first you don`t succeed, you should have done it my way in the first place.
I don`t know why I think I could survive the Zombie Apocalypse, I cant even handle the puff of air at the eye doctor.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.