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It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
lol I rotfl
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
Police ordered me to get out of my car `You`re staggering` said the officer .`you`re not to bad looking yourself` I replied
When someone says “You just made my day,” it makes my day.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?