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If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
My inner self is in Photoshop
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.