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People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
Not all guys just want s@x... I want sandwiches too.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
I`m trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Note to self: Asking the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook status in no way helps you get out of a DUI.
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re ignorant and make bad decisions.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.