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I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
Never squat with your spurs on
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
I had a doctors appointment today. He said I was normal! See? I told you!!!
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)