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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I almost got raped in jail last night. My family takes Monopoly very seriously.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
The number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex is, you can do the whole neighborhood.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don`t do it.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
Unless your name is “Google”, stop acting as if you know everything!
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.