Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
That awkward moment when you buy a pack of condoms and your wife ask. what you gonna do with those?
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
I think my "check engine" light has finally burned out. So that`s good.
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write: "Last warning, you have a week to get the rest of the money together."
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.