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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
I`m so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign And before that ... we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that sh!t.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
Never hire an Electrician with no eyebrows
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..