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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
Sarcasm is funnier when used on people who don`t understand it.
Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75 her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 42 her boyfriend is 26. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend hasn`t been born yet.
Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.