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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.