Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.