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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
If you don`t boo at people after bad sex, how do you expect to motivate them to get better?
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
My inner self is in Photoshop
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don`t have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off.
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
Sometimes I just open up the cabinet and let the Tupperware hit me in the face on purpose.
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.