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I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
I don`t think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
If I throw a stick will you leave?
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.