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*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.