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Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He`s not ill, just really crappy in bed.
Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
I don`t know why the Petco cashier gave me this look when I asked for the fish`s Birth date.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL