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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
If you`re stuck in a group text, one easy way to get out is to throw your phone in the ocean and start a new life.
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
Girls just wanna have funds.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
I’m going to start wearing Summer’s Eve as a cologne. The vast majority of beautiful women seem to be attracted to douches.