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I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
Sometimes I whisper, "I´m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
Find someone you`re good at.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal