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Can`t afford P90X or INSANITY workout videos? Go find a wasp nest and slap the sh!t out of it. Never knew I could shadow box,bicycle kick,and twirl while floating.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
It`s scientifically proven the more you shut up then the less likely I am to punch you in the face.
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
The only person that can procrastinate more than me hasn`t even been born yet.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.