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My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
The best things in life require no pants.
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night