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the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
I scream, You scream, We all scream, Because grandpa forgot his hearing aids again.
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I`ve decided to start growling.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don`t have iPhone. 2) I don`t have a girlfriend.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store