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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
Trust me, I am a liar.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!