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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
Wonders why there´s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”