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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
drinking while working out...it`s called Bacardio
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.
Women who tell me I have commitment issues have never seen me with a large pizza.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
Just burned 3 calories typing this with my thumb muscles. #fitness
If the government shutdown effected alcohol or internet porn they`d have this sh!t fixed by tomorrow morning.