Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
“Over my dead body” doesn’t mean “no.” It means I get to do what I want and as a bonus I get to kill you.
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?