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If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.