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Well today I turned 26, not because I wanted to, but only because Facebook limits how many times you can actually change your birth year !
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.