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It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
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How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
The only way I`m coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.