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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and a lot of alcohol in them
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn`t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking.
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.