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Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.