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It`s so cold out, I just seen a woman in 2 pairs of pajamas at Walmart...
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
Im at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to sh!t faster because it`s cold.
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.