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Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither does milk or orange juice.
therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, "Nature photographs." Thanks.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.