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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
All milk is breast milk.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
I am at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old with a permanent marker without a lid.
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Thanksgiving: "Let`s give thanks for the stuff we have." Black Friday: "Ok, let`s get all new stuff."
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.