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I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
I don`t care about your status...
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.
I`m glad I don`t work in an office. I can only imagine the smell at lunch time when everybody opens their egg salad sandwiches today.