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everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
My safe word is "Make sure we don`t go over the hour. That`s all the cash I got on me."
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
Last person to like this wins a prize.
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.