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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party
I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, "You once told me..."
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.