Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
I just gave my ex a big hug which can only mean one thing. That`s right I have the flu and I love sharing.
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
Shoplifting is just undocumented shopping.
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.