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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
Word for the day is asstard
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.