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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.