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Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
Having children is a fantastic source of free labor.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
Meant to tell my kid "Good night, I love you," but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school tomorrow because this is bullsh!t"
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.