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Maybe I`m the good kind of fat like an avocado.
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
I wish Tony the Tiger would burst into a raisin commercial and yell “They’re graaaapes!”
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won`t eat you. If that doesn`t work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions